R.I.P Frank

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I was so shocked and saddened this weekend when I found out that Frank - my PEG buddy, who had CUP like me and who had his first chemo session the same day that I did, has died. I couldn't believe it - it happened back in May. I hadn't seen it in the paper - or heard about it from anyone at the hospital - but I guess patient confidentiality is sacrosanct. It was very upsetting to hear - after all we've been through together.

The last time we saw him in the hospital was back in February:

"We had quite a wait in the main waiting room. That was fine though - as we saw Frank and his wife waiting there too so we could catch up. It was so nice to see him!

 He was looking quite thin - but he said that he had his PEG out a couple of weeks ago (horrendous experience he said - and I would agree!) so was actually eating real food now - supplemented by the liquid food. So, hopefully he'll fatten up a bit soon. Nothing tastes nice though - and he can't eat a lot. He has a very dry mouth and needs water with everything. It is some progress though.

The not so good news though was that he has another lump in his neck and one in his chest. So last week he was back having another scan. He was waiting for the results today. I hope it is not serious. On the good news side - they have booked a holiday and are looking forward to that in May."

The first time we met properly was in March 2012 - on PEG insertion day:

"So I turned up to Ward 107 yesterday at 8am with my little overnight bag and a sense of dread in the pit of my (empty) stomach. They didn't have a bed for me so sent me to the Day Room until they'd had the 8.30am Bed Allocation Meeting. In there I met a chap who was also in for the PEG insertion. I remember that I'd seen him before in the Radiotherapy Suite - he had a CT Scan with his mask just before I did. Another member of the exclusive CUP Club!

We exchanged stories and experiences so far - both very similar. He said that he'd said to his wife the day before "I want this day to go on forever" as he was dreading this morning as much as me. He said also that he was totally determined not to use this thing even though we had to have them put in. I agreed - although I guess one day we might just be glad of them. That's why I hadn't actually refused to have it done - though it was a close-run thing!

He hit the nail on the head when he said the worst thing was that we were going to be awake for the whole procedure. He'd had to stop reading the information leaflet before the end whereas I had read even more on the Internet and watched a video."

We saw him and his wife so many times in between - mainly in waiting rooms. He was always upbeat, cheerful and smiling. It felt good to be going through this with someone who had the same thing. We could compare scars and treatment plans. It won't be the same going for check-ups and not seeing him there. :-(

RIP Frank